The Turning of a Page

So I know I said I still intend for this blog to be used as our family blog which is still true - I am just slow on the "posting" I guess.
I feel like Brandon and I have been on a continual emotional roller coaster since the loss of Landon. The acceptance of not having him here is settling in and while I feel at peace with it on most days, there are other days that are not so great which I suppose is to be expected. Especially this past week has been tough for some reason and I just miss him so much. I think the fact that I would be due here in a couple weeks is part of the reason why it seems to be particularly hard lately. I know all of this is in Gods plan for our lives even though there are days that I resist it.
I know the loss of our son has made Brandon and I such a stronger couple and I am thankful for that. I knew when I married Brandon that I was so fortunate to spend my life with such an amazing person and with everything that happened with Landon, that only affirmed that. No matter where we go in life, Landon will always be our first child and will always be a part of us.
On a different but related note, we have had some positive things occur in the last couple of months too. The first of them started with Brandon getting a new job in Castle Rock at Douglas County High School. We are so excited about this because Douglas County is a great school system and he is back in a High School which is the age group that he prefers so he is definitely looking forward to that! Because of his job change, we have moved to Parker which means we are very close to his parents now and are thrilled about that. Especially with everything that has happened, I am looking forward to living near them. Another great thing that has happened in the last couple of weeks is I was offered a job as the Catering Manager for the Courtyard Marriott in Cherry Creek! For those of you who don't know, this is MUCH closer for me to drive versus to Boulder everyday. Not only that, but I was just ready for a change and looking forward to a new challenge. We feel like these new changes in our life sort of represent the turning of a page and we are excited to see what the future holds for us. I want to say again that we sincerely appreciate all of the prayers and support over the last few months, it truly means so much to both of us!

Precious Angel in Heaven

It was one month this past Wednesday that Brandon and I were able to meet our most precious gift, our son Landon Jace Holter. Most if not all of you know by this time that Landon is in heaven with Jesus. I am not going to go into how the last two months unfolded for us but we do feel at peace that he is where he is meant to be. While extremely painful and hard to accept, we feel so grateful to have met him. He was absolutely perfect in every way and while the time we had with him was short and will likely never seem long enough, we will cherish that time forever. Brandon and I are so grateful to all of our family and friends who have been there for us through every step of this process. We are forever grateful to all of you and wouldn't be where we are without your support. I still intend for this blog to be our family blog because we are a family and we have a perfect son in heaven. Thank you for all of the thoughts and prayers.

We made it to 20 weeks!!!

So this past Friday, I was 20 weeks!! Woo Hoo! AND I am finally starting to show slowly but surely! :) I bought my first pair of "maternity" jeans this weekend which was very exciting. I pretty much live in leggings which I dress up or down depending on if it's a work day or not. This is by far the most comfortable and versatile way I have found for dressing so far. I am so fortunate to have a few friends who have loaned me several of their maternity clothes and most will work great for the summer since I will be at my "biggest" at that time. Woo Hoo on that too! :)

Daddy's Boy

Starting this whole blogging adventure as well as having a baby on the way has really made me want to take more pictures so I will definitely get better! I feel like Brandon and I haven't had any recent pictures together so I guess we should get better at that! I thought I would share a couple pictures of Daddy and his little boy. It looks like Brandon is getting in some practice for holding a "baby" (or a dog). Gunner cracks me up with how he just lets us hold him like he's a little child. He is so much fun and is definitely soaking up all of the attention he can get!

I mean, how cute are they!?

18 Weeks!

I was 18 weeks this past Friday, March 11th so we are moving right along! I am starting to at least get more of a baby bump, too! I am pretty confident that within the next few weeks, my tummy is going to dramatically change. Hope everyone had a great weekend!

Then Comes a Baby...

So I am finally to the "Then Comes a Baby" post! That's right, Brandon and I are going to be first time parents to a sweet little angel expected to make his or her grand entrance around August 12th of this year! We found out about the big news right after Thanksgiving and to be honest were a little surprised. I had been off the pill for only a few months so our surprise was simply that it happened so fast! I had been late the month prior and was late in November too so just thought it was my "new normal." It was the morning of December 2nd and I thought to myself - well I'll take a pregnancy test just for kicks even though in the back of my mind I was sure I was late again. Well you can only imagine my face when the darn thing read positive! I think I had a mental and physical block - I just stared at the test for what must have been 5 minutes. Of course by this time in the morning, Brandon had already left for work. Do you people actually think I could wait until the end of the day to tell him about this!?! No way! So...the poor guy..I called him as he was just getting into Estes Park and I believe my words to him were, "Uhhh Babe.... I realize that I am dropping a complete and total bomb on you right now but I just a took a positive pregnancy test." His response, "Uhhh...okay, are you sure? I didn't realize you were even late." Anyways, while we both were expecting it to happen at any point, we just couldn't believe it happened so quickly! Even with the surprise, we were both elated - it just took a little while to settle in. Below are a few early pregnancy pictures - there is not a lot to see but any day now, I am sure there will be. We are finding out the sex of the baby and that will be on April 4th so I will let everyone know once we know and will also have some udpated ultrasound pictures!

Our Little Peanut and their super strong heartbreat! This was our first and only ultrasound which was on January 5th. Our next one is April 4th! CAN'T WAIT!

Absolutely no difference here but wanted to get the pictures started. :)

A TINY bump. I think we need an updated picture - 18 weeks tomorrow! I haven't done one weekly because there has hardly been any difference but I am just now starting to feel the "pop" coming on.

Then Comes a Cute Little Puppy...

So, we have been toying with the idea of getting a dog for the last couple of years but it just never seemed to be the right time even though we saw many cute puppies. I have to be perfectly honest here too, I am usually the one pushing for a dog - not Brandon. He always said he would rather have a baby than a dog...hhmmm, I'll get to that later. Not that he wouldn't ever have a dog, he just wanted it to be the right timing, etc. Smart guy! Anyways, it was right before Christmas and we saw this miniature dapple dachshund. And he was the cutest puppy I think I have ever seen. Of course, I believed we had to snatch him up before someone else did! I called Brandon and went through a conversation something like this, "Babe, he can be my Christmas present, Birthday present and everything else. You don't have to get me anything else, ever." Geesh, I am so sad. Brandon is much more practical than me in some cases especially in this one because the timing really wasn't ideal. (We had taken a positive pregnancy test about three weeks prior.) Again, I'll get to that later. Still, this didn't stop my persistence of "needing and wanting" this dog! Long story short, I did get that sweet puppy for Christmas, my birthday and everything else! Brandon said, "Babe, I want you to be happy." I mean seriously, how wonderful is he!?! Gunner came home with us a couple of weeks before Christmas and has both of us wrapped around his little paw - that's right, even his daddy! He and Brandon are big buddies! He definitely rules our household at the moment...I think that may change in due time. :)

Coming Home - Aunt Holly was with us!

My Guys - this picture is so dark but cute

It's hard to take a non-blurry picture of him because he is a wiggle worm!